Title: An Experimental Analysis of Genetic Multiplicity in Local, Not-for-Profit Kiwis Nurtured in the Groves of the Inland Orange Conservancy, California: A Case of Mutational Hox Gene Repression
Materials: Wooden cutting board, snowflake-bedecked steel chopping knife (Fig. 2), the Subjects: to wit, one set of Kiwi Siamese Triplets (Fig. 1)
Methods: The subjects were incrementally cross-sectioned under strong lighting. Following parisection, innards were meticulously prodded with a steel knife tip. Process was photographically documented and researcher consumption of subject samples was supervised by researcher's roommate.
Results:
1. The first incision, into the proximal end of the firmest and smallest kiwi-triplet (Fig. 3), did not reveal any indication of a genetically mutated state. Rather, the subject appeared, although of unusual growth habit, to be no more than an ordinary kiwi.
2. After surgical removal of the subject from its fellows, further examination yielded no extraordinary findings. The cross-sectioned kiwi was as lustrous, finely and elliptically-radially laminated and seeded as a kiwi, according to the agricultural experts of any local grocery store, aught to be (Fig. 4-5).
3. However, dissection of the remaining two triplets yielded more interesting results, in the form of extreme mushiness and some aberration from typical kiwi coloration (Fig. 6). Slicing proved extremely difficult, due to the overly-softened state of the subjects.
4. Carnage. Alone in the jungle of oozing overripe kiwi blobs spattering the cutting board surface and dripping from the chopping blade, a lone Dickinsonia stands, propped against one of its fallen fellows (Fig. 7).
5. A perhaps healthier alternative approaches (a gargantuan Not-for-Profit Riverside Navel Orange), preparing for hostile takeover of the researcher's breakfast (Fig. 8).
Discussion: Upon examination, it would seem that, apart from the inevitable encroachment of mushiness, fermentation and rottenness, each of the kiwi-components in question is sound. Deviation from kiwian "normal" internal morphology was not observed. However, the cause and nature of the embryonic split of the Hypothetical Ancestral Kiwi (HAK) into the observed triplet-form merits further investigation.
Conclusion: To Eat or Not to Eat? That is the Question (Fig. 9).
Materials: Wooden cutting board, snowflake-bedecked steel chopping knife (Fig. 2), the Subjects: to wit, one set of Kiwi Siamese Triplets (Fig. 1)
Methods: The subjects were incrementally cross-sectioned under strong lighting. Following parisection, innards were meticulously prodded with a steel knife tip. Process was photographically documented and researcher consumption of subject samples was supervised by researcher's roommate.
Results:
1. The first incision, into the proximal end of the firmest and smallest kiwi-triplet (Fig. 3), did not reveal any indication of a genetically mutated state. Rather, the subject appeared, although of unusual growth habit, to be no more than an ordinary kiwi.
2. After surgical removal of the subject from its fellows, further examination yielded no extraordinary findings. The cross-sectioned kiwi was as lustrous, finely and elliptically-radially laminated and seeded as a kiwi, according to the agricultural experts of any local grocery store, aught to be (Fig. 4-5).
3. However, dissection of the remaining two triplets yielded more interesting results, in the form of extreme mushiness and some aberration from typical kiwi coloration (Fig. 6). Slicing proved extremely difficult, due to the overly-softened state of the subjects.
4. Carnage. Alone in the jungle of oozing overripe kiwi blobs spattering the cutting board surface and dripping from the chopping blade, a lone Dickinsonia stands, propped against one of its fallen fellows (Fig. 7).
5. A perhaps healthier alternative approaches (a gargantuan Not-for-Profit Riverside Navel Orange), preparing for hostile takeover of the researcher's breakfast (Fig. 8).
Discussion: Upon examination, it would seem that, apart from the inevitable encroachment of mushiness, fermentation and rottenness, each of the kiwi-components in question is sound. Deviation from kiwian "normal" internal morphology was not observed. However, the cause and nature of the embryonic split of the Hypothetical Ancestral Kiwi (HAK) into the observed triplet-form merits further investigation.
Conclusion: To Eat or Not to Eat? That is the Question (Fig. 9).
Those are the most testicular kiwis I have ever seen. *shudders in terror*
ReplyDelete